TARDIS Says No
by Zorua Illusion
Summary: In which the TARDIS basically looks at Doomsday and says "Nah. Not doing it." Oneshot.


Honestly, the TARDIS is sort of surprised she's managed to not make her thief regenerate at her own 'hands', so to speak. Then again, she had a lot more time to focus on dealing with her emotions rather than putting them on the back burner as to slowly drive herself insane as she kept going on.

Yes, Doctor, the TARDIS did swing around that monitor just right so that way the glare got in your eyes for a split second. She doesn't exactly have eyes to do it for her.

Anyway. The TARDIS pretty much took one look at that timeline before saying "Nope. Not around here." And finding any way she could to overwrite the fact that pink-yellow-gold-Rose was lost.

A few thousand ideas cropped up. It's not like it was a fixed point after all.

The sheer amount caught the Doctor's attention, mentally linked to the ship as he was, though what on Earth the ideas were for, he didn't know. He mentally prodded at his ship, asking her to tell him what she was doing.

_Not now,_ the TARDIS spoke, _ask later. Eat a banana or something._ It was an order, though not unkind.

A bit put off, the Doctor went off to do as she instructed. He's spent around 800 years in this box; he had long since learned when it was just better to do as she said.

Meanwhile, the TARDIS shifted through the ideas she had, dismissing the less practical ones and ones that would utterly destroy timelines. Or somehow involved a supernova and the words "I'm burning up a sun just to say good-bye."

Yeah, no. Not while the TARDIS had Huon particles in her heart.

A line her thief said in a possible timeline caught her attention. "Crossing into established events is strictly forbidden… except for cheap tricks."

And then the TARDIS selected an idea.

Just as the Doctor finished his banana, he felt his ship prod his mind. Opening it, he was going to ask what she was doing, but she cut him off before he could with _Forgive me._

And time itself _snapped_, before the Doctor could even think of the word _why._

Blinking, the Doctor woke up.

To Rose's face.

"Are you alrigh'?" She asked.

"Fine," he answered in a high pitch. "What just happened?"

Rose bit her lip. "We went to Torchwood and…"

"Oh yes. I remember… but I thought you were…" _Gone. Trapped in Pete's World._

"I almost was… I was reachin' for tha' lever, yeah? But I couldn't get it. I was jus' about to let go of the mag-magna…"

"Magna-clamp," the Doctor filled in.

"Yeah. I was about to let go and grab onto the lever itself, but then a Dalek hit it on the way out, knocking it back into position. So I continued hangin' onto the magna-clamp. We came back into the TARDIS after everythin', and you said something about sayin' a proper goodbye. And then you just collapsed at the console, so I…" Rose bit her lip again and blushed a bit, shifting where she stood.

In his room. Where he was lying in his bed. In his pajamas.

Oh.

_Oh._

"I'm fine, Rose. Honestly, I am. A lot of excitement, and I'm pretty sure I almost got a heartsattack from that. Daleks, Cybermen, and Void Stuff, oh my!" He waggled his eyebrows.

Rose didn't buy into it at first.

"Are you sure, Doctor?"

He beamed. "Absolutely. But could you leave? I sort of want to get dressed."

"I thought you didn't have an issue with nakedness?" Rose teased with her classic tongue-in-cheek grin.

"I don't. You, however, do, as I recall."

Rose blushed again, caught.

"Yeah, alright." And she walked out the door, closing it behind her.

As soon as the door shut, he mentally prodded his ship, who 'woke up', so to speak.

_What did you do?_

…_May have nudged a few objects here and there to get the Dalek to bang against them to create the correct trajectory so it could hit the lever back into position…_

The Doctor grinned. _Oh you beautiful, wonderful, sexy thing!_

The TARDIS bowed jokingly inside his mind, laughing. _Now, go on you. She'll be sad at first, of course, but just… work with it, yeah? _The Doctor wasn't the only one affected by his companions, apparently.

The Doctor nodded and headed off, having gotten dressed in his normal suit, tie, and trainers as he was chatting with the only living thing he truly believed was older than he was.

_Oh, and Time Lord?_

The Doctor froze in curiosity. She never addressed him as such, unless it was to reprimand him.

_Know that even we can run out of time. This is the second chance for the man who only gives one, but only you and I know that. Make the best of it._

And with that, the TARDIS cut off the conversation with a mental nudge towards the console room.

The Doctor nodded.

After all, he had lived in this box for about 800 years. He knew when it was best to just do as she said.

**A/N: (Walks in a few years late to the party). Uh… I brought a banana?**

**Yeah, I know, I'm extremely late on the whole Doomsday fix-it… I also apologize for any inaccuracies and Rose's vague explanation. I haven't actually watched the episode, more due to the fact that I don't want to randomly burst into tears for three days than anything, but I hope I know enough to make this decent-ish. But, hey, I tried, and the TARDIS needs more recognition. (Casually ignores the fact that the Doctor and the TARDIS can't really talk in sentences. Shush. The Doctor's Wife hasn't happened yet… in this timeline.)**

**I OWN NOTHING IN THIS STORY. Only the idea that the TARDIS is chock full of pure sass. It's where the Doctor gets it from.**


End file.
